Quotes

[pontiac]

I think the title says it all:

Oh Lord, please don't burn us,
Don't grill or toast your flock,
Don't put us on the barbecue,
Or simmer us in stock,
Don't braise or bake or boil us,
Or stir-fry us in a wok...

Oh please don't lightly poach us,
Or baste us with hot fat,
Don't fricassee or roast us,
Or boil us in a vat,
And please don't stick thy servants Lord,
In a Rotissomat...

[Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life - Chaplain and Congregation in the Church]

Edit: The german version is here

[pontiac]

Another one:

Arms Dealer: "I’ve never seen this before."
Rambo: "It’s a blue light."
Arms Dealer: "What does it do?"
Rambo: "Turns blue."

German:

Q: "Was ist das?"
A: "Blaues Licht."
Q: "Was macht es?"
A: "Es leuchtet blau."

[Rambo III ]

Pontiac

[Dan Solo]

i love rambo!

(typical quote from Rambo II)

<<shots>>
aargh (dead vietcong)
<<more shots>>
eehk (more dead vietcongs)

[peteyg]

"Oh, I heard a new joke. Hehahaahhh. What is more dangerous than a locked room full of angry Narns?"
"Heh, I don't know. What is more dangerous than a locked room full of angry Narns?"
"One angry Narn, hehahaahhh, with a key!"

-- Centauri Minister and Vir in Babylon 5:"Sic Transit Vir"

[broadsword]

Two of my favorite Monty Python quotes:

"I'm not dead."
-Dead person
"Shhh! We are now the Knights Who Say 'Ecky-ecky-ecky-ecky-pikang-zoop-boing-goodem-zoo-owli-zhiv'.
-Head Knight of 'Ni'
both taken from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"

[Shrike]

Well, not so much funny, but my favorite quotes are:

=================================

"A free man ought not to learn anything under duress.
Compulsory physical exercise does no harm to the body,
but compulsory learning never sticks in the mind."

- Plato

=================================

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy.
the chance to draw back,
always ineffectiveness concerning all acts of initiative (and creation).
There is one elemental truth,
the ignornance of which kills countless ideas
and splendid plans---
that the moment one definitely commits oneself,
then Providence moves all.
All sorts of things occur to help one
that would never otherwise have occurred.
A whole stream of events issue from the decision,
raising in one's favor all manner of incidents
and meetings and material assistance
which no one could have dreamed would come his or her way.

Whatever you can do or dream, you can begin it.
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.
Begin it now."

- Goethe

==================================

"I have not loved the world, nor the world me;
I have not flatter'd its rank breath, nor bow'd
To its idolatries a patient knee,--
Nor coin'd my cheek to smiles,-- nor cried aloud
In worship of an echo; in the crowd
They could not deem me one of such; I stood
Among them, but not of them; in a shroud
Of thoughts which were not their thoughts"

- Lord Byron (paraphrased from "Childe Harold's Pilgrimage")

==================================

"If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?"

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."

"The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education."

"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."

"Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That means nothing. People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion."

"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocre minds. The latter cannot understand it when a [person] does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses their intelligence."

"As punishment for my contempt for authority, Fate has made me an authority myself."

"I never memorize anything I can look up."

- Albert Einstein

==================================

"I could have been a king. I guess in my own way, I am a king. Hail to the king baby!"

- Ash (Army of Darkness)

==================================

"I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book."

- Groucho Marx.

==================================

And of course, anything said by the Drill Instructor in Full Metal Jacket.

[pontiac]

Some quotes from Terry Pratchett books:

- I USHERED SOULS INTO THE NEXT WORLD. I WAS THE GRAVE OF ALL HOPE. I
WAS THE ULTIMATE REALITY. I WAS THE ASSASSIN AGAINST WHOM NO LOCK
WOULD HOLD.
- "Yes, point taken, but do you have any particular skills?"

-- Death consults a job broker (Terry Pratchett, Mort)

DROP THE SCYTHE, AND TURN AROUND SLOWLY.

-- Dirty Death (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.

-- (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

"What is this thing, anyway?" said the Dean, inspecting the implement in his hands. "It's called a shovel," said the Senior Wrangler. "I've seen the gardeners use them. You stick the sharp end in the ground. Then it gets a bit technical."

-- (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

"What do people like to drink here, then?" The landlord looked sideways at his customers, a clever trick given that they were directly in front of him.

-- Mort goes out for a drink (Terry Pratchett, Mort)

"I'm not going to ride on a magic carpet!" he hissed. "I'm afraid of grounds." "You mean heights," said Conina. "And stop being silly." "I know what I mean! It's the grounds that kill you!"

-- (Terry Pratchett, Sourcery)

"Right, you bastards, you're... you're geography"

-- (Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!)

"Woof bloody woof."

-- Gaspode the Wonder Dog (Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures)

"If you put butter and salt on it, it tastes like salty butter."

-- Popcorn comes to the Discworld (Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures)

"The thing is that Mr. Dibbler can even sell sausages to people who have bought them off him before."

-- Now that's marketing (Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures)

Much more at the The Pratchett Quote File. Enjoy

Pontiac

[broadsword]

Another of my favortie quotes:

There is no merit were there is no trial, untill experience stamps the mark of strengh, fools will pass as heroes and faith for falsehood.

-Aaron Hill (1685-1750)

Edit: I can't spell...

[micheal_andreas_stahl]

"I have finally cum to the konklusion that a good reliable set ov bowels iz worth more to a man than enny quantity of brains."
Josh Billings

i thought that this one was interesting

[GAlex]

Signori si nasce, e (...modestamente...) io nacqui."

Totò (principe de'Curtis).

the above is quite untranslatable. try guess yourself.
[/quote]

[GAlex]

well, more seriously:

from a man of the past (translated from 17th century italian):

behind every problem there is an opportunity

obscure speaking is something anyone can do, clear talking quite noone

good teaching is for 1/4 knowledge and preparation, for the rest is theatre

Galileo Galilei

I hope the sense is understandable.

[micheal_andreas_stahl]

My car is a Ford,
It's all I can afford.
I'd rather have a Holden,
At least something worth beholdin'.

See, for a man and his car,
To together travel broad and far,
They must be at one accord
Otherwise he'll surely get bored.

However, be not offended
Be not dismayed,
For a Ford would make some peoples day.
Not that I'd talk to them.

For it is this way,
A man and his car,
Is something precious by far.
- Dieter Stahl (c) 2006

This was written by my brother. For you people in Europe, the Middle East and other countrys holden is sold as Vaxhaul.

[Tarran]

Darkness makes the sunlight so bright that our eyes blur with tears
Challenges remind us that we are capabile of great things
Misery sharpens the edges of our joy
life is hard
it is supposed to be

- Steve Jackson

Worship is the act and art of living

-Leon (little known poet)

One thing that comes out in myths is that at the bottom of the abyss comes the voice of salvation. The black moment is the moment when the real message of transformation is going to come. At the darkest moment comes the light

-Joseph Campbell

[micheal_andreas_stahl]

Tarran, what does you signature say and which language?

[Tarran]

ni chadeche va

its something like, the perfect manner in which your essence blows across my being/I breath you in


its an amerind tongue.. was learning it when I was living in arizona.. couldn't tell you the tribe off hand.

[micheal_andreas_stahl]

Interesting

[Tarran]

"People say that what we're all seeking is a meaning for life. I don't think that's what we're really seeking. I think that what we're seeking is an exprience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances within our own innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive."

- Joseph Campbell


"Furthermore, we have not even to risk the adventure alone, for the heroes of all time have gone before us. The labyrinth is thoroughly known. We have only to follow the thread of the hero path, and where we had thought to find abomination, we shall find a god. And where we had thought to slay another, we shall slay ourselves. Where we had thought to travel outward, we will come to the center of our own existence. And where we had thought to be alone, we will be with all the world"

- Joseph Campbell

[grendel0226]

"The dumber someone thinks you are, the more surprised they'll be when you kill them"- Clayton

(To someone trying to commit suicide in the kitchen sink)
"You forgot to plug in the toaster!"
-Unknown movie clip

"Those who hunt monsters must be sure that they do not become monsters themselves"- one of the many rough translations of a Nietzsche quote

"I hate it when he does that."
"What? Complain?"
"No, breathe."- conversation in the TV show Becker

[snow_Cat]

God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we comfort ourselves, the murderers of all murderers? What was holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet owned has bled to death under our knives: who will wipe this blood off us? What water is there for us to clean ourselves? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we have to invent? Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we ourselves not become gods simply to appear worthy of it?

• Nietzsche, The Gay Science, Section 125, tr. Walter Kaufmann
  God is Dead - From Wikipedia.
  rebuttal :pvponline.com

edit: ^nn ^ *hides face* slashes, go the other way around...[\size]

[grendel0226]

"God is in the TV"- originally in a William Gibson book, then put into a Manson song that's easier to find

"What kind of f**** [crude term for homosexual male] fights with a fan?"
"The kind of f**** [same as above] that can kick your ass!"- conversation in the anime Saiyuki between Sha Gojyo and the monk Genjo Sanzo

"You're amusing in a 'What the hell is wrong with you' sort of way"- Jaheira of Baldur's Gate

[micheal_andreas_stahl]

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his disire to become a great writer.

When asked to define great, he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read. Stuff that people will react to. Stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger.

Today he works for Microsoft writing error messages.

[grendel0226]

"It's our characteristics that make us likable, but our flaws that make us beautiful"- Broom from Hellboy

"Lead me not into temptation. I can find it well enough myself"- unknown

"Gir! Stop it! You're sending out deadly rays of stupid!"- Invader Zim

[micheal_andreas_stahl]

Why do some people believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say there's wet paint?

[grendel0226]

"Going to church makes you a Christian no more than being in a garage makes you a car."- unknown

"My god uses a hammer. Your god was nailed to a tree. Any questions?"- anon

"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989

"If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?" Anon

[snow_Cat]

<lrrr> annikatoto is the stupidest firewall ever
<duckstab> YOUR DOG DOES NOT EVEN HANDLE STATEFUL PACKET INSPECTION WTF
<hei> she is very good at sniffing many things
<pg> annikatoto is adhering to a RESTful paradigm right fucking now