The Bricklayer

micheal_andreas_stahl · Sun Apr 15, 2007 11:36 am

Accident Report

This one needs an introduction, so you won't be lost at the beginning. This man was in an accident at work, so he filled out an insurance claim. The insurance company contacted him and asked for more information. This was his response:

"I am writing in response to your request for additional information, for block number 3 of the accident reporting form. I put 'poor planning' as the cause of my accident. You said in your letter that I should explain more fully and I trust the following detail will be sufficient. I am an amateur radio operator and on the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80-foot tower. When I had completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought up about 300 pounds of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now unneeded tools and material down by hand, I decided to lower the items down in a small barrel by using the pulley attached to the gin pole at the top of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and material into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow decent of the 300 pounds of tools."

"You will note in block number 11 of the accident reporting form that I weigh only 155 pounds. Due to my surprise of being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate of speed up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time, I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold onto the rope in spite of my pain. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of tools hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel."

"Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed approximately 20 pounds. I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, and the lacerations of my legs and lower body. The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell onto the pile of tools and, fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools, in pain, unable to stand and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind. I let go of the rope..."

http://darwinawards.com/legends/legends1998-08.html

Shissui · Post by **Shissui** » Tue Apr 17, 2007 3:01 am

This (apocryphal) story is called "the bricklayer" because it customarily involves a house builder with 100kg (or more) of, um, err, BRICKS.

This particular individual, regardless of the job assignment, is NOT eligible for a darwin award because he survived his particular stupidity.

***
Since the version that you encountered involves a radio tower, does this mean that you have a ham radio license ?

micheal_andreas_stahl · Tue Apr 17, 2007 9:57 am

Yes i agree. though i don't have a clue about Darwin Awards.

Shissui · Post by **Shissui** » Tue Apr 17, 2007 2:17 pm

micheal_andreas_stahl wrote:Yes i agree. though i don't have a clue about Darwin Awards.

Darwin awards are a tongue in cheek "honour" given to those who appear to improve the gene pool by self-sterilising or suicidal action. I first remember encountering them in the late 1980's.

This story fails to qualify on two criteria:
(1) The actor survived, so could potentially continue to breed.
(2) The story is a well documented urban legend -- the awards are intended for REAL stupidities.

See also: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darwin_Awards

Some examples of successful awards include:
- Jumping out of an airplane to film skydivers (without a parachute)
- playing Russian roulette with a semi-automatic revolver (which automatically rotates to the next loaded chamber)
- a person who peed on the electric 3rd rail of a subway.

micheal_andreas_stahl · Wed Apr 18, 2007 1:03 am

Shissui wrote:a person who peed on the electric 3rd rail of a subway.

How Stupid.

darthbob88 · Post by **darthbob88** » Wed Apr 18, 2007 5:16 am

micheal_andreas_stahl wrote:
Shissui wrote:a person who peed on the electric 3rd rail of a subway.
How Stupid.

There are worse. One from my home state talks about a guy who attempted to rob a store. To do this he had to
a) Walk past a clearly marked police cruiser,
b) Enter a gun shop,
c) Full of customers buying guns,
d) Plus one police officer in uniform.
He pulled his gun and fired a couple wild shots. The officer and the cashier returned fire and removed the crook from the gene pool.

micheal_andreas_stahl · Wed Apr 18, 2007 11:38 am

Weeelllll, he improved the gene pool!!!!

Shissui · Post by **Shissui** » Wed Apr 18, 2007 4:48 pm

micheal_andreas_stahl wrote:Weeelllll, he improved the gene pool!!!!

THAT is the point of a Darwin award.

Captain{}Blood · Post by **Captain{}Blood** » Tue May 01, 2007 2:12 am

http://darwinawards.com/legends/legends1998-16.html
I like this one better...

Melonhead · Post by **Melonhead** » Sat May 12, 2007 12:55 am

I don't even care if that one is real or a legend--it's hilarious, and I rated it a 10.

Jeff2121 · Post by **Jeff2121** » Tue Aug 07, 2007 10:34 pm

Shissui wrote:
micheal_andreas_stahl wrote:Yes i agree. though i don't have a clue about Darwin Awards.
Darwin awards are a tongue in cheek "honour" given to those who appear to improve the gene pool by self-sterilising or suicidal action. I first remember encountering them in the late 1980's.

This story fails to qualify on two criteria:
(1) The actor survived, so could potentially continue to breed.
(2) The story is a well documented urban legend -- the awards are intended for REAL stupidities.

See also: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darwin_Awards

Some examples of successful awards include:
- Jumping out of an airplane to film skydivers (without a parachute)
- playing Russian roulette with a semi-automatic revolver (which automatically rotates to the next loaded chamber)
- a person who peed on the electric 3rd rail of a subway.

I'm sorry...Actor

Anyways, wouldn't anyone of any age or background be eligible? I wonder if the guy who created these 'awards' won one...